After several years of watching from the sidelines I decided to take the plunge and participate in the annual Junesploitation celebration from the fine folks over at F This Movie! The premise is simple enough — you watch a genre/exploitation film every day in June and you are provided themes/prompts/categories for each day. Then you can share what you’re watching via social media or posting comments on fthismovie.net or letterboxd reviews or whatever moves you. How you interpret the categories is left to your discretion and at the end of the month you’ve managed to watch some — hopefully— enjoyably cheap, violent ridiculousness and cross some items off of your watchlist. My movie watching had languished a bit recently and I was traveling in June so I knew this would be a bit of a challenge for me — I still caught the bug somehow and I’m happy I did it. I have the full list here and I included the films I watch at Ex-Fest though I’ve already written about those. I wasn’t able to watch everything in order and I did miss the “prison” category — but in the end I watched 31 films and several of them featured prison/imprisonment themes so I’m calling that good for my first time. One of the cool things about Junesploitation is the spirit of inclusion — the participants are frequently encouraging and insist that there’s no wrong way to do it. Having fun is the point and I was successful using that criteria.
Here’s my rundown of top new-to-me Junesploitation watches that do not include the Ex-Fest films I’ve already covered. I watched a ton of great stuff so trimming down the list was more of a challenge than getting the films watched.
Day 2: Westerns! Cemetery Without Crosses (1969) — Directed by and starring Robert Hossein — and featuring a writing credit from Dario Argento — Cemetery Without Crosses is a desperately bleak French/Italian co-production. The dialogue is spare, the locales are desolate, and the brief moments of violence erupt from the screen. Both Hossein and Michèle Mercier are masterful as the haunted gunslinger and his recently widowed former lover. It’s a beautifully shot revenge film that is profoundly sad while containing a seething undercurrent of rage. By contrast it features a killer toe-tapping main theme that stuck in my head for days.
Day 8: Cars! Watch Out, We’re Mad! (1974) — I’ve been aware of Bud Spencer and Terrence Hill for ages and yet their comedies have escaped my attention until now. I’m not always the biggest fan of comedies and it’s hard to know where to start with their extensive filmography. I absolutely adored Watch Out, We’re Mad! The unlikely duo star as rival stunt drivers who tie for first place in an off-road race and have to share the prize - a new dune buggy. The buggy is destroyed by the local mafia and the two form a partnership to get a new car from the gang. What ensues is an absolutely madcap affair of hotdog eating contests, choir practice, dance numbers, motorcycle fights, Donald Pleasance, and a TON of delightfully choreographed brawling. I couldn’t stop laughing and was put in such a great mood watching this one. The De Angelis Brothers’ alter ego Oliver Onions provides the music including the unstoppable earworm “Dune Buggy.” If you’re looking for premium buggy content — Watch Out, We’re Mad! has you covered.
Day 13: Italian Horror! The Long Hair of Death (1964) — There’s a lot of ground to cover with a theme like Italian Horror but I decided to go with some classic black & white gothic featuring Barbara Steele — I can’t ever seem to get enough of these. Admittedly Long Hair of Death creaks a bit in the middle but it’s bookended by truly striking sequences of medieval torture and death. Long Hair is wholly enveloped in atmospheric touches — castles, cobwebs, secret portals, hidden crypts, desiccated corpses, corrupt aristocrats, vengeful curses, and ghosts! There is a distinct lack of murderous tresses — so don’t think you’re going into a 60s Italian version of The Bride with White Hair or anything. Also — The Long Hair of Death has multiple kickass posters. This is an easy recommendation for Steele fans or Italo-gothic enthusiasts and one I’m very happy to have gotten to.
Day 14: Blaxploitation! J.D.’s Revenge (1976) — Upping the sleaze content a bit with this slice of violent supernatural New Orleans revenge. Clean cut college kid Ike is possessed by the spirit of a vengeful 40s gangster — J.D. Walker — during a nightclub hypnotism show. Turns out J.D. was framed and killed for a murder he did not commit and his spirit has been unable to rest. Ike’s life starts to take a downward slide as J.D.’s persona creeps further and further into dominance. Though his grievances are valid — J.D. was still a violent creep and generally awful guy. When he is not pursuing revenge against those responsible for his framing he is taking out his frustrations on everyone around him — particularly Ike’s girlfriend. It’s a sordid affair but Glynn Turman turns in a fantastic performance as he transforms into J.D. Walker throughout the film. It’s also a wonderful snapshot of 70s New Orleans and everyone looks amazing in this.
Day 17: Fulci! The Conspiracy of Torture (1969) — I finally took the good advice of Erica and Lance over at the Unsung Horrors podcast and caught up to Lucio Fulci’s underseen period piece and I’m so glad I did. Supposedly Fulci’s favorite of his own films — Conspiracy of Torture is in many ways a different side of the maestro but also contains undercurrents of his future work. It’s the story of a tyrannical landowner — Francisco Cenci — who imprisons and abuses his teenage daughter Beatrice. When she can no longer stand it she enlists the aid of one of her servants — played by a fairly restrained Tomas Milian — in killing her father and making it look like an accidental death. What follows is an absolutely brutal investigation led by officials of the church implicating the entire Cenci family in their patriarch’s death. The narrative is somewhat convoluted at times due to the flashbacks employed but it’s an absolutely gorgeous film. Fulci’s deep seated distrust of power structures — particularly religious ones — takes center stage here and yes, there is a remarkable moment of orbital trauma.
Day 23: Giallo! Nothing Underneath (1985) — Sex! Murder! Fashion! Donald Pleasance eating spaghetti at a Wendy’s! Mid-80s giallo Nothing Underneath really has it all. Park ranger Bob travels from Wyoming to Milan because he has psychic visions of the murder of his fashion model twin sister who has disappeared. Bob’s fish-out-of-water experience in the Milanese fashion world is exacerbated by the fact that nobody seems to readily accept the fact of twin telepathy — outrageous! More models die and the mystery unravels as Bob and Donald Pleasance’s Commissioner Danessi uncover more secrets and conspiracies bubbling underneath a veneer of glamor. I recently picked this up from Vinegar Syndrome and had an absolute blast watching it. It moves quickly and the finale is nothing short of spectacular. This wound up being a Pride weekend watch for me and while I’m not going to say it provides the best LGBTQ+ representation in the world — it does feature a runway sequence set to Gloria Gaynor’s I Am What I Am. I think that counts.
Day 24: 90s Comedy! Coldblooded (1995) — I’ll fully admit that I watched better movies last month than largely forgotten 90s black comedy Coldblooded — but I wanted to include it in this list because it was such a pleasant surprise. It features Jason Priestly as a low level mob employee — Cosmo — who is suddenly “promoted” to hitman under the mentorship of a veteran played by Peter Riegert. Cosmo mostly ambles through the world with a blank, almost childlike affect — but it turns out he is an amazingly talented hitman. While Cosmo is celebrated both by Riegert and his boss — dealing with the emotional burden of killing people leads him to try a yoga class where he inevitably falls in love with Jasmine — his instructor. Complications ensue and bodies pile up as Cosmo attempts to find a way to leave his new profession and start a new life. There was an absolute glut of quirky crime and hitman movies during the 90s so I suppose I’m not shocked that Coldblooded got lost in the shuffle somewhere. Still, I found this to be genuinely funny and charming and shockingly violent in moments. The cast is a lot of fun with Riegert, Robert Loggia, Janeane Garofalo, Kimberly Williams-Paisely, Josh Charles, a Michael J. Fox cameo, and Priestly turning in an admirably weird performance. It’s definitely one of those movies that deserves wider rediscovery and appreciation. Part of the fun of doing a challenge like Junesploitation is pushing yourself a little and finding something outside of your normal inclinations that you really enjoy and Coldblooded was very much that for me.
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